Black Flag Character Interviews

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These interviews have been extracted and condensed from the Character Chat thread from The Webcomic List forums.

Interview with Captain Blood

First off, what planet are you from?
Look I was offered half a grog ration to do this, and I'm not answering anything until the vouchers are signed and the first mug is on the table in front of me.
That's better.
What planet am I from?
None of your business.

Do you like poetry? Do you have a favourite poet?
Halbarg Drin of Thrae. 'Synthetic Symphony', and 'The Cry of the Steel'

Um... What's the biggest fashion mistake you ever made?
Fashion. Very funny. Next question.

What do you think the world will be like in the next, fifty years?

What's your favorite food?

Baseball or football? (No, not that stuff the Americans play... real football)
You call those sports? Try Freestyle Martial Arts.
Although, nothing beats a really good brawl.

Um, something's your favorite book?
'The Moon is a Harsh Mistress'.
...Or maybe 'Reinventing Dyson'.

What is your favorite color?
None of your buisiness

What is your quest?
That had better be a joke.

What is the flight velocity of a sparrow carrying a coconut?
What gravity and air pressure are we talking here?

If you were rich, what would you do with the money? If you are already rich, what are you doing with the money?
If I was rich would I be answering stupid questions for half a grog ration?

What's your opinion on Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
It's a decent rule of thumb.

Do you believe that magic is real?
That one had also better be a joke.

Do you know a good place for fishing or hunting?
Sorry. Urban upbringing.

Are you married?

What place in the world would you most want to live?
The Imperial Palace of Galstobistan.

If you had to turn a person into a hat, would you wear him sometimes or give him away?
Not my style.
I usually just beat them to a pulp, and then blow their brains out.

Have you ever considered the daffodil?
Have you ever considered getting your nose broken?

Puppies: cute or ugly?
Never met one.

Favourite musical act?
Not my thing.

If you ran the world (Earth for you non-Terrans) for one day, what 5 things would you do?
One day. Heh. I couldn't get halfway briefed on a planetary situation in that much time. Guess I'd issue myself a pardon, though, or I'd never get off-planet when my day was up.

What kind of stuff do you have?
Well, this here is a working replica of a Colt 45 Peacemaker. Single action. Yeah, it's loaded. No, no safety. Look, what sort of an idiot do you think I am? It's only carrying five loads. What the Peacemaker is known for is it's durability and strength, see how it's got a solid frame and fixed cylinder? I've got a Smith and Wesson Volcanic too, looted from the same collector. Fellow from Osabine, I think it was. Good taste. Then there's the replica flintlock and the duelling pistols, useless as weapons, all three, but very pretty peices, and there's the Harrington .602, what they called an 'elephant gun' ... that's an original, and I wouldn't dare fire it even if it didn't have enough recoil to put me into orbit...
Oh, no you don't! You asked the question, you stay and listen to the answer, or you go into arena and I teach you some manners.
...the real prize of my collection is genuine Beretta Tomcat, sealed in glascast. Came with all its provenence intact, too. Headed for a museum on Bludil. A real little beauty. I've a replica of that one too, but the problem with concealed carry is that no one realizes that you're armed, so they try to do stupid things, and you end up having to shoot them.

Was that all your questions?
Here's a hint... you have no more questions.
That's better.

Hexblurb for Flag in Flames
Space pirate romantic triangle
-- with explosions!

Copyright © Michelle Bottorff

Email mbottorff at lshelby period com